The Christmas flu

So sadly, my "it's the most wonderful time of year" mood was dampened this year by the flu...yes, I got the flu. My mom had it first, then my dad, then me. I'm still not completely over it, but finally have energy to things around my room that have been waiting for me this whole break.

My friend says that this sickness was pent up stress from the fall semester...every time she and I go home for break we get sick...it's like our bodies know that it isn't possible to get sick during the school year, so they wait until we can relax and they hit us with sickness...right in the face. Thankfully I have a whole week and a half left of break to really relax and prepare myself for MY LAST SEMESTER IN COLLEGE! :)

So leave me be flu bug....consider yourself beaten down by my little white blood cells and the Great Physician who control's them! Ha ha!

My Teacher Poem

So after talking to my friend Kyle, I decided to put my most recent poem I have written (meaning last fall to be exact--shows how much I enjoy writing them) up on my blog. It was for a class assignment and was supposed to show our passion for teaching. Keep in mind that at this point in my life, I had decided to switch majors from education to plain literature...so most of the language in the poem, if referring to teaching is sarcastic in nature. But, I tried to keep to what I am passionate about, and that is literature and writing. So, without anymore explaining...here is my teacher poem....

Fantasia
written: Nov. 4, 2004

Learning is the fire that shines in my classroom.
It lights the way for students on the road to success,
Uncovering patches of doubt and fear.
The burning flames purify and refine understanding,
Shaping it into strong, shining silver.
Minds and souls like moths, fragile, but able to fly above preconceptions.
Drawn to glow of literature and the warmth of the written word.

Blossoming authors can be seen here,
Budding and sprouting diction, syntax, and imagination.
A strong, bold tiger lily helps a passionate daffodil find her voice
A creeping caterpillar chews the bits and pieces of a writer’s craft,
Morphing into a butterfly born to freely write.

So many unique creatures.
Fire and wildflowers.
Moths and caterpillars.
Coloring the world with the fragrance of life long learning.

Sorta hilarious to read after being out of the program so long...I'm soo happy I switched majors! (Even though I still encourage people to write...I just can't do it as my career!) Now it's a matter of continuous prayer as I seek what God wants me to do with my life!! :)

Bill O'Reilly makes me smile :)

It's always nice to see the news media come along side the Christians every once and awhile. It gives me hope for the future...

Hey, It's the Solstice Buying Season

By: Bill O'Reilly for BillOReilly.com
Thursday, Dec 01, 2005

Corporate America should get down on its knees and thank God that the baby Jesus was born two thousand plus years ago. Okay, how many people did I offend with that first sentence? Let's see, I mentioned praying to God, the baby Jesus, and even hinted at the celebration of Christmas. Totally out of line, don't you think?

The federal holiday of Christmas is once again under siege this year by secular forces that want to wipe out any public display of America's Judeo-Christian traditions. And what a problematic situation this has become, especially for big business. Sears and Kmart will absolutely not mention the word "Christmas" in advertising this year. Wal-Mart will not either, along with scores of other retail stores. The reason these operations give for avoiding the C-word is that they don't want to offend anyone by mentioning a holiday they might not celebrate. These stores believe the greeting "Happy Holidays" is more "inclusive," although I'm sure there are some Americans who don't believe in any holidays, so what about them?

Frankly, the executives who have banished Christmas from their advertising are insane. By doing that, they are offending tens of millions of traditional Americans who respect the Christmas season and want it called exactly what it is - Christmas.

Back in 1870, President U.S. Grant signed a law making Christmas a holiday for all American citizens. That's why you have the day off. That's why no mail is delivered. Santa is the only designated delivery guy on December 25. Can I say Santa? Is that inclusive?

There is a huge backlash brewing on this Christmas deal. Judging from reaction to my reporting on television and radio, millions of Americans have had enough of denigrating the birth of Jesus. The holiday honors peace and generosity in the name of a great philosopher who has had a tremendous influence on the USA. Eighty-five percent of Americans call themselves Christians and believe me, many of them are not happy with "Happy Holidays" as the imposed greeting of the season.

Federated Department Stores (that's Macys, Bloomingdales and others) learned its lesson last year when it pushed the "Merry Christmas" greeting out the door and sales suffered. This year Federated is back in the Christmas spirit, so to speak, using "Merry Christmas" along with other seasonal greetings to advertise stuff.

It's all so blatantly dumb. All these corporate geniuses have to do is incorporate all the greetings into the store brochures and displays. Most Christians are more than happy to acknowledge Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Happy Winter Time or whatever. Use them all, and to all a good night.

But no. The incredibly dense grinches that run many American companies are so infected with political correctness, so afraid somebody might complain about the word 'Christmas,' that they throw the baby Jesus out with the bathwater.

Well, humbug. You do that - I'm shopping elsewhere. Three wise men once came bearing gifts to honor a baby who would grow up to bring a great message to the world. If corporate chieftains are not wise enough to honor that message as well, they don't deserve any Christmas cheer. Simple as that.

##

The Florida State University --ACC Champions

Seminole Pride.

Excessively diverted

So I randomly found these guys on someone else's blog...it is so funny! Almost as good as the 'Mylah Hee' guy...

As long as you love me










I want it that way

Pearls of Wisdom

So I officially applied for graduation today and it was exciting! I cannot wait! Just don't ask me what I'm going to do with my life because I might have to punch you...but to celebrate the occasion, I thought I would impart these pearls of wisdom that I randomly found on my computer. It is a list of truths about college. Most have applied to my college life so far! Enjoy...

* 34 Things admissions never told you about college:

1. Quarters are gold.
2. Two meals per day is the standard.
3. Going to the mailbox was never an ego booster/breaker before.
4. You will begin to nap again.
5. Your bookstore bill will almost equal tuition.
6. Instant messenger becomes an addiction
7. E-mail becomes your second language.
8. You never realized that so many people were smarter than you.
9. College football is the coolest thing on the planet
10. You will never rent more movies in your life.
11. Procrastination is an art form.
12. It never sucked so much to get sick.
13. Care packages are right up there with birthdays.
14. Campus is only clean for Family Weekend and Freshman Orientation
15. Classes…the later the better.
16. You are no longer thankful that the fire alarms are here to protect you.
17. Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires.
18. Showers become less important; sleep becomes more important.
19. Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night.
20. Creativity in the dining halls is key.
21. The freshman 15 is NOT a myth!
22. Dishes smell after days of piling up.
23. Cereal makes a meal any time of the day.
24. You will eat anywhere that is a buffet.
25. You will eat anything that is free.
26. New additions to food groups: ramen and pizza.
27. ATM's are the devils advocate. ATM= Another Twenty Missing.
28. Keys have never been so important, yet you seem to lose them or lock yourself out of the room even more.
29. If they say you can't have it in your dorm, they are just kidding.
30. You will come to hate hallways/stairs/elevators with a passion.
31. Pictures, posters, emails or anything else to cover the ugly cell we live in will be transformed into wallpaper.
32. Everyone is only nice for the first week. After that, no matter how nice you are, some people just won't smile back. Get used to it.
33. You are never alone!
34. You can spot a parking space from 5 rows away!

* You know you’ve been in college too long when…

1. You'd rather clean than study.
2. "How did it get so late!" comes out of your mouth at least once a night.
3. Mom's Meatloaf and potatoes become something you desire, not avoid.
4. You live for getting mail.
5. Looking out the window is a form of entertainment.
6. Prank phone calls become funny again.
7. You start thinking and sounding like your roommate.
8. Black lights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth.
9. Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.
10. Wal-Mart is the coolest store.
11. The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday.
12. Home is no longer referred to as "home", college is.

* Before I came to college, I wish I had known…

1. That it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class, I'd still sleep through it.
2. That I could change so much and barely realize it.
3. That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
4. That if you wear polyester everyone will ask why you are so dressed up.
5. That every clock on campus shows a different time.
6. That you can know everything and fail a test.
7. That you can know nothing and ace a test.
8. That it's possible to be alone even when you are surrounded by friends.
9. That friends are what makes this place worthwhile.

Sick Cycle Carousel

God,

It's so frustrating to know that the only reason I don't have a close relationship with You right now is because I messed up. I ran away from Your embrace, and I chose to not respond to You calling my name. I feel like I will never be able to keep my relationship with You steady...I will always fail, disappoint myself, and treat You like scum and as an after-thought. I can't even do the basics...pray and read my Bible. I completely forgot about You yesterday...the only time I even thought about You was in the evening when I saw the fall leaves...that scares me. Deep down I want You to be the center of my life, my only Comfort, my Friend, Confidant, Father. I want to think about You all the time, walk with praise on my lips for You...so why do I reject You, feel scared to come before You, and feel as though I need to know all of my sin and confess it all to You for You to even look at me? or hear my prayer? Why do I constantly feel selfish in my prayers and then chastise myself mentally for even asking You at all?

I have created my own religion and it sucks! Lord help me out! I need to be free in Your embrace again, free in Your arms and free under Your wing. Help my soul find You once more and free it from my clutches. Teach me to dance and sing again. Teach my heart to beat again, to feel You again. Teach my eyes to see You and my ears to hear Your still small voice. Let my hands and feet walk and serve You, Lord. Replenish my dry and weary mind...cleanse me from my sin and renew my relationship with You. I have made You into a project, a task, and a to-do list item. I have diminished You into a vending machine and a distant being that does not care about me or what I do.

I'm sorry Lord...Break me. Show me my need for Your grace and mercy in my life. Show me how much I need a Savior, so that I will never be tempted to ignore Your voice again like I have recently. I love You Lord, even out of this selfish sin-infested heart...You have granted me the ability to love You. So I choose to be with You, and not myself. I want to be Your daughter, to live like a servant to Your will, and as a woman who earnestly seeks You.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

The A-Ha music video

So...I found a site that shows the A-Ha music video I spoke about in an earlier entry. If you want to see the madness, please click this link. It is the funniest video!

A-Ha in their glory!

Panchero's

Here's a picture of what P's looks like from the inside. Most of my sightings were on the deck outside...you can sort of see the garnet and gold umbrellas through the window...that would be the porch where I sit and try to do my homework!

The third booth from the back of the picture is basically Katie and I's claimed spot every T/R.

If you were to look to the left you would see the Boca Cafe and behind you is the menu and the crazy, crazy front line...seriously your food is manhandled by like fifteen people before it even gets to the cash register!! It's completely bizarre! The stop signs I talk about are right behind the corner of the building you see in this picture. So the porch is the place to hang out especially since we've been having such pleasant weather this autumn! :)

A view from Panchero's

A list of the oddities around this find establishment after a month of observations:

*Before I even begin, there are 5 items that must be said.

1. Panchero's is near the music school
2. Panchero's is near the English and Religion departments
3. There are Greek houses (both sororities and fraternities) in the vicinity
4. There are two stop signs in plain sight from the porch of Panchero's
5. There is a coffee shot (Boca Cafe) inside Panchero's

Now to the list...

-Apparently the field across from P's is a great place for you to train your dog to do tricks. But not just any old tricks, like sit or roll over...no, no...intense tricks like jumping through hoops!

-The sidewalk around P's is now an exclusive motorcycle roadway. Yes ladies and gentlemen, you can now walk in fear on the sidewalks around this place...because not only can you get hit by sixteen trucks crossing the street in a ten-minute span...but now you can even get hit by the motorcycles driving up your walkway!

-Late one evening, I spotted a whole pack of fraternity boys, dressed in suits--matching of course-- running down the hill, in a line...why? I do not know--perhaps it was for a pleasant midnight jog to increase blood circulation and work off all the alcohol calories they ingest.

-Between 6:10pm and 6:20pm...a ten minute span of time...sixteen trucks passed Panchero's...Sixteen! That is crazy!

-Katie and I saw this girl from the back who had pulled all her hair up on top of her head. It seriously looked like some bushy animal had decided to sit and live on top of her head. Well, after a few minutes of complete shock, we turned around and kept doing our homework. Well ten minutes go by and sure enough, this same girl is walking back to P's, except something is wrong...she is a he! And he has the bushy hair animal on his head and his face painted like someone from the cover of a Marilyn Manson CD. Yeah...Katie and I averted our eyes pretty quickly after that revelation.

-Wescott fountain, as many students know, is a beloved spot on the FSU campus. Usually a picturesque spot for graduates or pamphlets promoting our fine school...it is also used as a dumping ground for birthday people. So this next observation is quite hilarious in light of these facts. My coworker Jimmy and I were sitting out on the porch and saw three women running towards the fountain...not really strange considering the time of night...but these ladies were wearing life jackets. Bright orange life jackets. Apparently the fountain is deep and safety apparatuses should be worn. So what did I learn? That future birthday plungers should heed this warning and prepare themselves accordingly before it's too late and the dark, chilling waters of the fountain swallow them up forever.

-With the continuing trend of large cover-all-of-your-cheekbones sunglasses, it's no surprise that Elvis has visited Panchero's. No lie! This guy had long sideburns, huge glasses, and a white shirt. I secretly had to tell Carly, my grand-little #2, he was here so as not to alarm her...but alas, after she saw him we both broke into a fit of giggles. Much to our dismay, after a few minutes, Elvis left the building.

-What do you think of when you hear the words "pimped out car?" Do you think, old man listening to an 80's song in a sports car? I do now! This guy randomly pulls up to the stop sign and blares his 80's while resting his hand on the steering wheel which he put a blue light under...I didn't know that was even possible! One of the other students at P's, who, after this incident, introduced himself as Brenden, the cheese-faced taco-eater (FYI, we became friends on account of the old 80s dude! I think that is hilarious!) was definitely laughing with me on this one and said, "He wasn't gonna let that song die! That was awesome!" [Oh and if your wondering why he called himself that, it's because he found out that I was people-watching and basically told me while he was eating, he got cheese all over his face...but honestly...I wasn't paying attention to him and his eating, so he basically shared info and landed on my list!]

Well that concludes my adventures on the porch of P's. Tune in next time to hear more stories on the life and times of the strange students sighted around Panchero's...

Ladies of the 80s

Wow. I cannot believe what weird things went on during the 80s in this country! It makes me glad that I was a small child and did not have to witness them.

I just got back from our "80s workout" social and let me tell ya', it was ridiculously hilarious! The club put up a screen so we could watch all the videos that go along with the music...and man oh man...the way some of these people dance is unbelievable. I tried to mimic it. It was awesome. Apparently, doing one jumping jack is a dance move, holding your arms out at shoulder length, slightly in front of you, and swaying is a dance move, and even hugging yourself and slowly unlocking your arms and putting them down at your sides is a dance move. How fantastic is that? :) I seriously did get a workout dancing to these songs.

Oh and this picture is of the "A Ha" band. Yes, you read that right, their BAND name is A-Ha. As if they were sitting around a table trying to come up with a name for themselves and one of them said, a-ha! and for some reason they liked it?! sure. But anyways...I heard a song of theirs...strange, let me tell you. The music video had NOTHING to do with the song, but it was very fascinating.

Quick synopsis: Lady gets seduced by a newspaper cartoon. Newspaper cartoon man pulls her into his cartoon and they dance and sing to each other. Random woman throws away newspaper while they are in the cartoon. Woman gets out of cartoon and runs with the crumpled newspaper to her house. Smoothes it out, cries on it, cartoon man comes out and bangs himself against the walls to become a real person. Then they hug. The End.

R-I-G-H-T. Whatever that means. But hey, they named themselves A-Ha...ya gotta love 'em! So yeah, I definitely gained an appreciation for 80s music only because now I have some pretty sweet dance moves! ;) I just have to say that Kate is fantastic and cracks me up to no end! We rock these socials man...we rock them out! Especially when it's 80s night and all you have to do is dance ridiculously and it works! YES! Bring it on!

sights and sounds of a Williams building student

The Williams Building: center for some of the funniest people you will ever meet at FSU--> The English majors! These are the people who read for class and read for fun. Who find nothing wrong with highlighting or underlining in a book, or even writing notes in the margins. They can discuss a piece of literature from every possible angle and not get sick of the book. They write probably more essays that any other student on campus and can BS with the best of them! Sadly, they also have a major that not many people consider to be difficult and one that doesn't have much job security...and yet here we are...lovers of books, studing the thoughts of past centuries, and enjoying every minute of it! Even when your teachers ask you to do some of the most random things to get 'in-tune' with what you are reading...aka Transcendental walks...

But, I absolutely adore them! It's incredible to see the pleasure on their faces when they read, the excitement of sharing their treasures of insight with a friend, the respect they feel for the writings of great authors. You see them randomly on campus...
the student who
-reads while walking
-finds a nook somewhere in a coffee shop to sit and enjoy a good book
-reads aloud an important passage to his friend and explains what it means
- stays after class to continue the discussion of a book with fellow students or the professor
-writes about her love for literature in her blog!

It's neat to me how God has gifted human beings in different areas. The fact that I can get the same pleasure out of reading Thoreau that another student gets by creating ethenol in a lab is wonderful! The human mind is so vast!

There is something addicting about unlocking the key to a piece of literature and seeing beyond the surface of the words to the person behind them. It's like stepping into a mirror and finding a whole new world seen through the eyes of the person who lived there. The words are just the road that leads the reader to the country beyond. Almost like Mary Poppin's paintings she jumps through...the painting itself was just a portal through which they explored the new demention of reality.

Literature shows struggle, pain, life, risks, fears, joys, discoveries that others before us felt and went through. What a unique way to learn about humanity, history, and ourselves. Reading helps me see that the emotional struggles I have were shared by others in the past as well, and shows me how they managed them... lived and learned through them.

absent writings

I truly believe that technology, this week at least, is against me.

-The people who control the Internet I need refuse to turn on wireless, so now I have a pointless wireless card that cannot do it's job for my computer. Result? I had to go out and buy myself an Ethernet cord...and found out it was too short. So I returned it and now have a gargantuan one, borrowed from a friend, that will definitely be long enough. I think I could plug my computer into the moon if it had Internet, that's how long this thing is!

-My computer decided that corrupting registry files is a cool thing to do. Result? I had to buy a new hard drive and now have to backup all the files I want and turn my poor computer into the hospital (Geek Squad at Best Buy) so they can operate for 3-5 hours and put a new hard drive into it.

-My cell phone decided that turning off and turning on at the same time was possible....it's not. Result? I had to wait 3-4 hours for the thing to respond to anything I did...and I basically had to read the manual and take out the battery (all the while praying my phone numbers would still be there when I put it back in) and see what happens. Luckily, it works fine now.

Meanwhile, secretary duties that require my computer are piling up and essays are due soon...yay for being so dependent on these machines. I'm so glad my roommate does not mind me checking my mail, homework, or typing blogs on hers. :) Thanks friend!

High Price of the Gospel

Campus Crusade Mourns Murdered Bangladeshi Christian Workers, Urges Justice

By Ed ThomasAugust 9, 2005

(AgapePress) - Natives from the South Asian nation of Bangladesh recently held a rally in sympathy for the families of two Christians who were martyred for their work with a Campus Crusade for Christ affiliate group in that country.
The two slain Christian workers, Lipial Marandi (21) and Tapan Kumar Roy (27), were locals who taught health awareness programs and showed The Jesus Film while working with Christian Life Bangladesh. The young men had been in place in Faridpur, Bangladesh, for eight months but had received two sets of death threats only a week prior to their deaths, warning them that they would be killed if they continued with their work.

According to Campus Crusade for Christ Asia regional spokesman David Beeler, the two men had decided to respond to the threats by leaving the area. "But before they left," he says, "in the middle of the night, about 2:00 a.m. on July 29, some intruders came into their residence and stabbed them to death with machetes."

This slaying marks the second incident within the last two years in which Christian Life Bangladesh workers have been murdered under similar circumstances in this heavily Muslim-influenced area. Campus Crusade reports that police have arrested two suspects in connection with these latest murders, and the missions organization has contacted the Bangladeshi prime minister by letter, asking for zealous prosecution.

Beeler says Campus Crusade for Christ is urging the Bengali government "to bring these murderers to justice and uphold the Bangladesh Constitution, which protects religious freedom." Meanwhile, he is asking believers in the U.S. and other parts of the world to pray for the Bangladeshi Christians "to remain strong and steadfast in a time of crisis like this, and that they would really know the love of God in the example of these two young Bengali men who gave their lives -- gave their all -- for Christ."

In April 2003, Christian Life Bangladesh worker Hridoy Roy was killed in a similar incident. His killers were never convicted. Thomas Abraham, vice president of Asia Campus Crusade for Christ, says the ministry is seeing an increased trend towards persecution of Christians in Bangladesh.

Another list of firsts for me

Yet again I have some time to write down a few things that I have never experienced before now, that can help me highlight the more interesting place my life has turned, over the past year.

1. I knew of 14 couples who are engaged (some have, by the time this entree is posted are already married).

2. Finally got away from the HLE (after 4.5 years!) and started a new job working as a cake decorator apprentice at Publix. I love it! :)

3. Turned 21 and went into the popular '21 & up' club in Tally with some of my sorority sisters, all of whom have since graduated from FSU. It was just like every other one...incredibly crowded, filled with large drunken people, dark and smoky, and a waste of time to be in. I lasted a grand total of 45 minutes inside it...oh well. Spending time with sisters has its price I guess!

4. Visited Texas! Brigitte and I went to visit our friend Zandy, who lives in San Antonio, for spring break and we has so much fun! I love Texas! We saw many quatrefoils, ate amazing mexican food, and even rode a cute little trolley--which I have wanted to do forever--through downtown San Antonio. We saw The Alamo, which was a lot smaller than I thought it would be, and saw a huge mural on the wall of the hospital where Zandy was born. El Mercado, was so amazing! It is this huge market that has authentic mexican products like blankets, hats, figurines, butterflies, and lots of armadillos...which seem to be a popular animal in Texas. I also saw huge cacti, like 5 or 6 different kinds of cacti!

5. I have started reading the Anne series...oh what a joy it has been! I am a late bloomer when it comes to discovering Anne Shirley...most of my friends were in high school when they recommended L. M. Montgomery's series. I guess I wasn't ready until this point in my life to really appreciate Anne and the wildly unabandoned journeys she goes on. I am now at the point where Gilbert and Anne are writing to each other since Gilbert is away in Medical school and Diana has just become a mother and named her first son, Fred, (after his father of course).
It's so funny how much I can empathize with Anne and the emotions she feels at different points in her life...it has been fun to read and laugh at her descriptions of things and people she encounters!

6. I received an email from the University telling me that the religion class I chose to be a part of in the fall semester has been cancelled. Luckily, there is another class I can take that will be just as interesting...and I just learned that we will be reading a C.S. Lewis book! Awesome!

7. Lived in Tallahassee in May and June to take summer school and work. I definitely missed Orlando quite a bit, but was taught a lot about patience, dependence on God in everything, Publix and espanol while I was in Tally! ;)

8. Finally had my room painted over with NICE colors (neptune blue and gray--I created my own storm cloud!), instead of the ugly seafoam green and baby pink I've had to stare at since we moved into this house. Thanks Jonathan for helping us! My door looks amazing! ;)

Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it...yet...

new posts coming, i promise...i have all my ideas written down on a small piece of paper...i just need the focus time to write...and i'm too tired to do it tonight. i did however, change some things on my blog. added links, deleted links...etc.

Farewell dear blog...I shall miss thee

Sadly, I will not have the use of my beloved computer for a few weeks while I am up in Tallahassee studying espanol dos and working at Publix. I will be staying with a friend of mine, and will try not to use their family computer too much. So, as a result, my blog will be *sniff* abandoned for awhile, until I can reunite with my desktop in Orlando....so farewell for a few months...I shall return as quickly as possible!

Green Apple Jones Soda

Today Brigitte and I took a day off of school to work on our papers for class. So far, she has written all of her research paper...and I am sitting here writing this entry because I have writer's block. I am frustrated and do not know how to start my paper. I HATE this feeling. I have to watch a movie and decide whether it is portraying class, gender, sexuality, or race. Then write about it using examples from the plot and film techniques, texts we have used in class, and class notes. WHY IS THIS SOOO HARD FOR ME TO DO? I don't understand....it really shouldn't be this hard. but it is. AHHHHHH! So I continue to drink my Jones Soda (Green Apple flavored) --which is surprisingly tasty!--and hope that by some miracle when I watch this movie again words will begin to flow and I can write something down!! ugh.

It's not helping that I know I am going to be up until 2 am. I have the late shift monitoring at our social tonight...and I really really really do not want to do it. I just want to write this paper, get it over with and go to bed. But looks like God has other plans....why? I also don't feel too well. Great, just the way I wanted to end this semester...complaining and feeling frustrated.

2 full years!

Wow, I've made it two whole years on this blog! Yay for posting! :)

Long lost post...

*I wrote this on the back page of my notebook when I was at Barnes and Noble one day and totally forgot about it until today, when I found it there...so here's my long lost post, finally making it to my blog, like I had originally intended, so long ago!

2/14/2005

Barnes and Noble a place where one can browse literature, smell that calming bookbinding smell, and imagine my own books on the shelf-- screaming to be picked up and read--offering pearls of wisdom or insight into the world through my eyes. What would it say? Random descriptions of my people-watching adventures? Times of reflection when my mind, captured by thoughts, pondered life deep into the night? No...that wouldn't sell...but then nothing I write would sell because it's all a dream...and my thoughts remain my thoughts, written down in notebooks and sometimes blogs, waiting to be re-read, experienced anew, and laughed at as life continues forward. But as for now...I try and focus on my studies as I sit in Starbucks, watching the world pass away outside this window, sipping my mint mocha wishing I had time to continue writing...

Ginny Owens

God has brought me to a place of decision: complete surrender to Him or continuing on myself blindly grasping for control. I have chosen surrender to His will...after being broken in every area of my life. The sweetness in surrender and the peace that comes after you choose to give Him everything--surpasses my understanding. I am so inadequate to accomplish anything good in this life. His power and grace flowing through me is what I desire...to be used for His glory.
These songs adequately express a lot of what I am thinking and feeling lately. I cannot write much now, but heard them and thought it would do a better job than any of my own words.

This Road
A million miles away from anything familiar
A thousand places I would rather be
So I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
Though I find it hard to see beyond my suffering

In my heart I know your plan is so much bigger
But this small part is all that I can see
And I believe you haven't left me here to wander
Still I can't help but ponder where you're leading me

(Chorus)
And I ask why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Till I see, till I know
Why this road

A million miles away from anything familiar
What was it like to be so far from home
Though you came in love
The world misunderstood you
There must have been some days when you felt so alone

But you endured, cause there was joy before you
Joy that came because you sacrificed
Since you gave yourself just to spend forever with me
Surely I can trust you'll lead me through my darkest times
When I ask why....

(Chorus)
And I ask why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Till I see, till I know
Why this road

From here I can not see
Why you'd choose this path for me
But I don't have to understand to believe
That you know why

You know why this road
Why this way, and this load
You know how far I must go
Till I see, Till I know
Why this road

All I want to do
All I want to do, is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, until it's all I want to do.

How does doubt slip in, so silently?
And why does condemnation come so naturally?
Why do I still get the best of me?
Loving so little and living so selfishly?

When all I want to do, is give this life to You.
All I want to do is give this life to You,
and let Your will be done until it's all I want to do.

What have I been given by Your grace?
Will I come to understand this mystery I embrace?
Make of me a new creation now,
Fill me with all you are and be all I am somehow.

'Cuz all I want to do is give this life to You.
All I want to do is give this life to You.
And let Your will be done, 'til it's all I want to do.

Faith so fragile
Reaching for Your hand

All I want to do is give this life to You,
and let your will be done, til it's all I want to do.

My date with Adonai

I love going on dates with God because He always knows exactly what I want and need and how to make me feel completely loved and desirable to Him! My date happened Sunday night at 7...well He started working up to it at around 2! ;)

First, my Toyota started leaking oil, so Dad and I had to take it to the mechanic. They told us it would take around 1.5 hours to fix, apparently the gasket wasn't put in properly. Since I had to get back to school, Dad let me take the Grand Prix up to Tally. So I left Orlando at around 2:45 instead of 1:30, like I had planned. I soon realized there was NO way I was going to make my 2 sorority meetings that night because of the delay. Surprisingly, that thought relieved a lot of pressure and caused me to actually enjoy driving back to Tallahassee.

During the ride up God continually amazed me with His artwork. He showed me red & orange leafed trees...yes even in March. He painted a sunset that took my breath away!

When I arrived to Tally it was dinner time and I had no idea where to go, well "Quiznos" popped into my head and I decided to go there. After getting my French dip sandwich I sat in the car and was about to begin eating when "Lake Ella" popped into my head. So guess what? I drove to Lake Ella and found a great parking space that looked out over the water. I sat there eating my sandwich watching cars, people, and water pass by, listening to Christian radio while my spirit was being refreshed.

God is good! He knew I needed a little bit of quiet before I started the week...and He set it up so that I would get it!

One single drop of rain
Your salty tear became blue ocean
One tiny grain of sand turning in your hand
A world in motion
You're out beyond the furthest Morning Star
Close enough to hold me in Your arms
Adonai, I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai
You are the Maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh, my Adonai
One timid faithful knock
Resounds up the Rock of Ages
One trembling heart and soul
Becomes a servant bold and courageous
You call across the mountains and the seas
I answer from the deepest part of me
Adonai, I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai
You are the Maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh, my Adonai
From age to age you reign in Majesty
And today You're making miracles in me
(song by Avalon)

Thank You, my Adonai...

Mi espanol profesor es muy suavamente!

I absolutely adore my Spanish class. It is so fun sometimes! It was such a good decision to switch sections...9:05 is definitely a pretty time compared to 8:00! Plus, my teacher is awesome, he makes the class laugh almost everyday, has dreadlocks, and dresses like a muscian/prep. The main reason our class gets along with him so well is because he's young and we can relate to him.

One thing I've noticed about my teacher is that he likes to share funny stories with the class. He has told us that he drives a really old car and has this bumper sticker on it that offends a lot of people because it has a curse word on it. He says everywhere he goes he usually finds a note on his car telling him that his bumper sticker is offensive and he should take it off. One of these people was actually the landlord of his apartment complex! The other day he told us that he ate pepinos (cucumbers) for breakfast...when someone asked him what he ate (it was part of an exercise teaching us how to ask questions in Spanish).

Another thing he does is come over to where I sit and just tell me the most random things. For instance, the other day he came over while we were in the middle of doing a writing activity, and told me (in Spanish) that his head hurt. I was wearing a hat that day and at first thought he was making fun of my hat, but then I quickly realized, no, he was telling me he had a headache. So I told him he should go take some Tylenol. ;)

Yesterday, I came into class wearing a white poncho (given to me by Brigitte). Well sure enough, while we were writing, he came over and asked me what the name was, of what I was wearing. I told him it was called a poncho, then he seemed to recognize that word and said he liked it a lot.

So then today, while we were writing he came over and asked me where my poncho was! I said that it was only for yesterday and not today. He laughed and walked away. Well another point in class he came over and told me that I should bring it to class so he can teach with it on. I laughed and told him to shut up, because it seemed to me that he was making fun of my poncho! After laughing a bit, he said, "No I think it's cool." Then he told the girl behind me, Jamie, that she wasn't cool because she didn't have a poncho. Why the obsession over the poncho? Well whatever the reason, it cracks me up, and makes getting up at 8am worth it!

Wedding bells are ringing

Congratulations Katie & Josh on your engagement! :)

The ring is simply gorgeous and looks so pretty on your hand, my friend. Josh is a blessed man to have you as his fiance. You are one of my closest friends, Katie, and I'm going to miss you as you start your life. But I'm so thankful that you have Josh in your life to take care of you and draw you closer to our Father.

Did you know it was possible to make cookies and brownies in a muffin maker? Well it is. Zandy and I are geniuses. Plain and simple. We both started craving cookies after my Mom told me that my brother was baking some at home. So we decided to experiment...with our muffin magic appliance. We decided to drive on over to Club Publix and buy a few goodies, aka. break-apart cookie dough, break-apart brownie dough (they were having a sale!), funfetti cake mix, and blueberry muffin mix. Yes, my room has become a bakery! :o) Many of the women in the house flocked to our room to taste our creations...of course we let them taste our cookies and they left satisfied. We took pictures to record this momentous occasion, so maybe one of these days I'll post them online. But for now, I've put a picture of what our Muffin Magic looks like...we've named her Matilda, "The Muffin" for short! ;)

Such a lovely family to have running the country...better looking than some other one's I've seen. ;) I'm just so glad that he won, God is definitely being gracious to this country. 

Congrats President and Mrs. Bush! I am sooo glad that they are in the White House another 4 years. :) Aren't they the cutest couple in politics? Definitely my favorite President and First Lady (who is extremely elegant)! 

God is good

So after being in three spanish classes, I've finally found the one that fits me perfectly! My teacher speaks spanish the whole time, but pauses and repeats enough that I can follow along. He cracks jokes, and even makes fun of english! Today in class I felt challenged, but not so much that I'm overwhelmed with the material...yay for Spanish 1! (He even isn't that bad to look at...God knew it would take more motivation than graduation for me to get through Spanish! )

Another exciting thing is that I am understanding The Ambassadors by Henry James. He wrote that book in the 1903, and according to my teacher it is a very hard book to read and eventually we will get so frustrated with it that we will throw it across the room. For one thing it is really long, has lots of descriptive details, and has a very boring plot (some guy trying to find another guy in England and take him back home to America). BUT...the cool thing is that I am understanding...and actually have enjoyed reading it at times...this is a miracle. God is blessing me so much right now.

I heard through the grapevine that the English Education department lost a lot of students last semester because of their poor treatment to the students and horrible scheduling. There were around 70 students in the major, and now there are only 50ish. They cancelled two required classes in the middle of registration and decided to offer them in the summer, then one of the professors decided that she wasn't going to teach this semester and would come back over the summer...and they wonder why students are stressed and dropping the major....HA!

I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT IN THAT MESS! I feel like jumping around and clapping my hands--rejoicing that I am in the English department and on the pretty side of campus. Thank You, Lord, for putting the idea to change my major in my head! I love English Lit!

My Dad told me these stories in an email: "There is great despair. One of our staff leaders visited a Thai family who refused any help from us. They only asked for cyanide to commit suicide. Another man told the story that during the tsunami he was holding on to his sister who could not swim. But the wave was so great she was swept away from his grasp and she died. He is blaming himself and of course is in great distress." Please don't forget to pray for these people in Asia and Africa who have been hit with so much sadness...they need to see the Light and know their Savior.

It's difficult to imagine the devastation that has swept across so many countries because of the earthquake and resulting Tsunami. I cannot comprehend 147,000 people dying...a village in Thailand had 8,000 people living there, now there are only 4, 000. How can you deal with the reality that half your town has been wiped out?  

There are so many needing help. God, bring their hearts to Yourself and show them the One person who can fulfill their deepest need, who can make sense of this mixed up world we live in.

Broken vessel willing to be used

It's amazing to how quickly satan tries to discourage me here at school. It 's only been three days and the feelings have hit. Tired, overwhelmed, inadequate. The thing is, it's true. I am unable to do this on my own. I cannot survive this semester without Your strength, God. I will be depending on You fully this semester, in so many areas of my life--school, my daily witness in phi mu, sharing my faith with the women You have placed on my heart: Elizabeth, Nicole, Taylor, Zandy, and Jamie--Father, I still feel so young in my faith, so much to learn and experience and understand about Your character. Will we grow intimate this semester? Will I hear Your heartbeat; hear Your still, small voice; see You in this house? I hope that I will not live for the future, but use everyday as an opportunity to glorify You. To serve You, pushing aside my desires, and pointless 'needs'.

Lord, be my first Love, don't let my heart be led astray to other things that take my focus off You...idols. Break me, God...break my will. Break my heart for the people around me. Let me know deeply how much You love them and how much they are dying. I want to weep for their souls, cry in joy and awe over what You have done for me, and then have the boldness to go and share with them what You have done for them.

driving four hours to tally

I'm sitting here waiting for the asprin to start working as I sip my 7-Up. I'm not feeling too well...which could be partly due to a number of things like: the fact that I've been sick lately, I stayed up 'till the wee hours of the morning today talking with my two new favorite guys, I have to drive four hours to Tallahassee to start school tomorrow, I haven't eaten lunch yet, Satan is discouraging me about my ministry in Phi Mu--which is ridiculous that he can hit so quickly after God has so clearly reconfirmed me being there! Ugh! It's frustrating that's for sure! God beat him down please and give me the strength to endure...

Well now I've eaten lunch...the asprin seems to be working...so I'll write more after I've arrived in Tally...