more thoughts....

its weird how songs can bring back memories....i'm listening to Linkin Park and this one song really reminds me of my old guy friends. at the time it was the beginning of the split in our group. we were outside of the Cypress Springs clubhouse and they played the song to 'tell' us something...like that guy vs. girl thing. "despite how you were mocking me...acting like i was part of your property.remembering all the times you've fought with me. i'm suprised it got so far. things aren't the way they were before. you wouldn't even recognize me anymore. not that you knew me back then. but it all comes back to me. in the end you kept everything inside, and even though i tried it all fell apart. what it meant to me will eventually become a memory of a time" "i tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to loose it all. but in the end it doesn't even matter. I've put my trust in you...pushed as far as i can go...for all this, there's only one thing you should know..." at the time us girls were thinking "oh brother" and we could turn it around to them...but now its one of those memories you don't want to forget. its crazy how that works. i mean you can feel the tension in the song echoing the tension in our group at the time...but now i miss it. i miss having that be my world...that be my problem. now i just sit. usually in front of my computer....looking outside realizing that i'm growing up and having to learn things for my job....realizing that friends i make here are going to be the ones i call when i'm thirty years old.
but this is usually what happens when i let myself think too much late at night. so i'll stop. anyways...thats a glimpse into carrie's head.