I loved rain. It calms me down. Partly because it reminds me of my childhood...and most childhood memories cause a strange sense of peace or just contentment while you remember that specific memory. I'm just sitting here watching it fall in straight lines down to the earth...and watching the rain drops race each other down the window. i love it when the sun comes peaking out of the clouds and makes the wet pine needles shine with a golden light. Its so pretty. And mesmerizing...i have a hard time taking my eyes off it. The way the light bounces of the droplets of water hanging on the pine needles...the way the tree just sort of glows is so cool. It makes me smile. But now the sun has gone and the rain has stopped...its back to the gray tones of a cloudy day. But that brief rain shower has encouraged me...and for some reason...today was a strange one. I feel like I'm in a place in my life where I want to just think about things in my life...nothing in particular...but maybe just make time to just sit and think about life. But i feel like i constantly have to move...against my will. Constantly doing...when all i want to do is think. Sounds weird...but maybe this summer i'll be able to go somewhere (since i'll have a car) and just sit and enjoy just being alive...as opposed to constant activity. i almost feel like my need for solitude has grown since i came to college...which is sort of funny...because in the beginning i felt alone...and hated it. Now i want to be alone...but in a different way. There were times in high school where i knew i needed alone time...but i got it when i was in my room...and it wasn't a strong need in my eyes. Now it seems to be. Maybe its because i had time to think during my job in high school...and i talked deeply with many of my good friends...here i feel like there is no time to really go in-depth with my close friends...like i desire to...of course this could also have to do with my spiritual life. Which i think parallels my need for solitude. i know i need time to be still before God. To sit in His presence and rest in His love for me...but like the stupid person i am...it is a very frightening thought. i mean...what would the God of the Universe have to tell me...or would He even speak? To be completely silent before Him...my fear would be that all i would get would be awkwardness. Just like the feeling you get when you’re not completely comfortable with someone or you don’t know the person well enough and you have nothing to say…and then you both just sit there.

But on a lighter note...I saw the funniest thing today. :) Three guys (one of which i realized i knew) were playing skateboard ball. now you may ask..."Carrie, what is skateboard ball?" well its a made up game that only college guys would come up with! hahaha. they used a skateboard as a bat...and a hackie-sack as the ball. and basically played three man baseball. and counted runs on their fingers. i think the funniest part about it was the fact that they acted so seriously about it and were pointing to the different places they would hit the ball. hahaha. and the guy that i knew would leap up into the air and catch the ball in all these weird positions...it was great. at one point...the hitter missed the ball and said "i'm retiring..." haha! college guys can be so entertaining sometimes...especially when I had no clue what i was going to do for an hour (because my teacher canceled class! woohoo!) while i waited for my math class. they provided a great distraction while i waited. college life can be so fun sometimes...i've seen guys play tennis golf (same as golf except no holes and using tennis balls), frisbee golf...and now skateboard ball! hahaha its so great. :) and today three guys and their creativity encouraged me! thank you guys!