ahhhh! the beauty of food in my tummy. it is the best feeling in the world. especially today. i am just now eating dinner, sad i know. all i wanted to do this afternoon was shop for like two hours max on my little sister stuff that i need for phi mu...but it turned into a shopping trip that lasted from 4:00-8:30pm. I am sick and tired of driving...and wish i could beat something up!

Reasons for Carrie's stress level being so high:

1. the traffic lights every three inches in this city. when there's a home game in tally, EVERYONE is out on the road for some reason...thus making the traffic lights unbearable...and considering there are millions of them in our small city, it makes it pretty crazy.

2. No Super Target five minutes away from where I live. Yeah, that pleasure is only found in Orlando (which i DEARLY miss right now). here in tally its like fifteen minutes away and isn't a super target. just a regular one. so to compensate for this i had to go to the normal target and the Super WalMart, which is thirty minutes away. oh yeah...it was so fun <--to be read VERY sarcastically.

3. the fact that Number 1 Stir Fry (my all time favorite food stop here in Tallahassee) does NOT accept Discover card or checks. this was my last stop on the way home...and i get parked and go inside. i ask them, do you take Discover? 'no.' do you accept checks? 'no.' and i look inside my wallet...and lo and behold...only $5.00. not enough for a meal. so i have to get back into my car and go to publix to take money out.

4. Publix ATMs. now normally this process wouldn't have been stressful at all...but since i am having one of the worst times getting food in the history of food getting...it had to be. i stuck my card in there and accidentally pressed "get cash out of savings account." i don't have a savings account on my FSU card. so i cancel the transaction. then i see that my card popped out, so i push it back in. well it gets stuck. and i can't get the stupid machine to do anything....thankfully the machine realized my card was in it and it popped it back out again. and i got my money.

5. People who cut me in line when i'm about to check out and just stare at me like i'm crazy for even thinking about checking out before them.

6. People who go ten under the speed limit because they just feel like it and stay in the fast lane while i'm trying to get to Super Walmart and am very hungry.

7. the fence around the parking lot of Phi Mu. when i park in the lot right next to Phi Mu, i have to walk all the way around it to get to our house. this is fine when i remember everything in my car i have to bring to the house. but like today...i walk all the way up to my room with my arms full of stuff and i realize. oh my cell phone is in the car...great. i walk all the way back around the fence and get the cell phone and walk around the fence again to get to the house. :p

8. parking lots that say "During Home Games, this lot needs to be cleared by 5:00pm Friday. Or you will be towed." Did Carrie care about this sign at this point??? NO! i just wanted to eat!! i'm assuming that i will be the one car out of the five that are left in that lot to be towed. oh well. don't care at this moment in time.

Things that are helping calm down Carrie:

1. Tomatoes
2. Rice
3. Cashews
4. Teriyaki sauce
5. Stir fry in general
6. A whole night with Tatie :)
7. A night with Mr. Darcy (P &P)
8. Iced tea (perfectly made--1/4 sweet, 3/4 unsweet)
9. Double dipped chocolate malt ball (comes with the stir fry--seriously this place is great!)
10. 4 crunchy chocolate chip cookies that are waiting for Kate and I to eat them!
11. Christmas music playing on my computer--this is a big contribution to my mood change
12. The anticipation of a quiet night
13. The little boy who was selling popcorn in front of publix, and decided to stand guard protecting my card from being stolen out of the ATM as I got help. then watching my every move as I took money out! he was so cute. :) he told me that his mom usually gets $20 ( i got $40 out).
14. A parking space two steps from the entrance to Michaels
15. Not having to eat fake hamburgers for dinner

notice the good out number the bad...so i'll be fine. it will just take a couple more Christmas songs and the rest of my stir fry and malt!! ;)

today in church a Wycliffe couple showed a video highlighting different people around the world who need to be reached for the gospel. The song I Can Only Imagine, was playing in the background...and I realized how much I missed being overseas and seeing God moving upclose and personal. Sometimes I feel as though I don't have enough faith to believe that He is working as hard here in the U.S. because we're so closed to Him being here. I mean, I thought about how hard missionaries work to tell other people about Christ...and how so many people don't even have Bibles, but they are still preaching the gospel to their own people. then I realized how badly I'm doing here in tally. I have Bibles, I have resources around me...and yet I still don't step out and tell. I don't feel the urgency to tell them about the gospel like I do when I think about going overseas. this is probably partly due to the fact that people here are so quick to put on the mask of security, indifference, and pretend to be under control of their lives. It's partly due to my stupid need to be in my comfort zone.

Why do I continually loose my focus, and turn my head from Him, and start looking down at all the homework that is pilling up, things "I need to be doing?" It's like I need someone in my life who will constantly ask me if I am living with an eternal perspective or focusing on things that will pass away. I feel trapped by myself. Trapped by business, laziness (oxymoron i know), school work, so many random thoughts in my head of what I should be doing. It's too noisy, and it distracts the real me from coming through and wanting to witness to my sisters, be a light in my classes, take time out of my day to spend with God. I hope realizing this will shock me into reality and change my habits I'm forming...pray for me.

well tonight was our Crush social...each girl can invite three guys. it was interesting and really made me sad. all these girls and guys who are empty...trying to fill themselves up with the social scene and alcohol. girls hoping guys will show up so they can have their 'special someone.' how do they do it over and over again? meeting new people then dropping them, and going out again to meet more people. i would probably get really depressed...maybe thats why they drink so much. tonight brigitte and i had to take one of our new pledges back to the house because she split her pants open while dancing on the 'stripper' pole. she felt really embarassed....but probably won't remember the drive or most of the party. see she told us that she had twelve shots before she came. she kept apologizing to me and another sister...thinking she was being an inconvenience to us...but to me, it just makes me sad that this is the way she thinks she can have fun with her friends or even with guys. at one point in the car ride she had commented that this was God's way of punishing her because she had slept with a fraterity guy. it was amazing to me to see her logic in it all, and see that even when you are totally out of it and drunk...you still think about God. i don't mean to tell this story to try to make myself look 'better' or judge her. i just wanted to write it down to remind myself that sorority and fraternity people are no different than anyone else...they are lost people constantly searching for something/one to fill their needs, and are very good at acting like they have no needs or problems. pray for my sorority. pray that they will catch a glimpse of how much God loves them, pray for brigitte and i as we minister to them. pray that we shine in the darkness and keep our walks stong.

It's a miracle! I only spent $144 on books this semester!!! It is time for a party. :) Its so nice to know that I'm getting money from Bills Bookstore...instead of the other way around. hehehe.

Guess who is in my Old Testament class?? Johnny Depp. no seriously, there's this kid that looks exactly like him! Its weird! The other day he had on a bandana and it was so freaky...if he had put on heavy eyeliner, grown a little taller, and a pirates costume, he would have looked exactly like Captain Jack Sparrow. It is so strange watching his movements...because they are like him too! sort of drug-ish. He even gave his friend some advice: "If you're high when you study, and high when you take the test, you'll get high grades." yeah...well he didn't do to hot on the quiz we had. so much for his advice!

i am sitting here thinking about what i am going to do tomorrow (since it is labor day and I should go out and do something), listening to piano music, and wishing that i had my family around to plan with....luckly this weekend they are coming up here to Tally for Parent's weekend and my bro and sis are coming up as well! i'm so excited. :) I hope the game is a lot of fun and that we have a great family time. i feel like i've been up here forever...but i've only been through ONE week of school. how sad is that?! but i've been in tally for 3 weeks...thats why it feels so long. i have a sneaky suspicion that this school semester will fly by....because of several reasons: 1. my classes are very boring...so i will be looking forward to them ending. 2. football season always seems to fly by because its so fun! 3. fall semester seems shorter to me than spring...even though its not! i think it's because i look forward to christmas so much! ;) 4. because freshman year went by very fast and i know this one will too.

my options for tomorrow:

a. go to lake ella and have a quiet time with God in the morning. possibly do some of my reading for my classes there if i enjoy myself.
b. sleep in, and then sit in my room and do hw until its done and then figure out what to do with the rest of the day.
c. watch the news in the morning (because i feel very out of it...the only news i get is from my homepage on the internet: www.cnn.com, and through my radio at 1:00am: BBC newsradio), then do hw, then go out somewhere.
d. complete option 'a' and then call brigitte and see if she wants to do something with me.
e. complete option 'a' then sunbathe on our new deck until it rains on me...

if anyone else has any ideas...i'd love to hear them! but now that i think about it...i think i'd like to do 'd' and sunbathe...if thats possible. if not i do have most of the day on tuesday!!! oh the choices we have to make in life when there is a holiday... ;)

A picture of Lake Ella