I’ve been reading “The Silent Seduction of Self-Talk” with my friend Carly. Usually I have no problem reading books, as a former literature major my favorite past-time is reading. However, I have a weakness when it comes to Christian non-fiction...I cannot seem to finish them after I start. So having Carly read this one with me has forced me to continue through the book to the end. The chapter we are in speaks on doubt – doubting God, His truth, His character, His promises and His plan for our lives. But one passage stopped me in my tracks:
“We must become committed to living out the double love command, a lifestyle that places love for God first and love of others second out of our overflow of God’s love. We must learn to walk moment by moment in faith and repentance and to say no to temptations to choose selfishly.”
How do I choose to love God first before loving others? It’s so easy to love others and say “oh yeah, I love God.” But what does it look like – practically – to love God first? I think it means to give up my daily comforts that draw me into spiritual passivity. It means lots of little choices that add up to daily habits. It means getting up early or leaving my desk at lunch or hiding away in another room in the evening just to spend time with God every day. It means turning off the television/radio/computer when I hear Him calling me to dwell with Him.
It means putting Him first before my husband – something that will probably cause me to feel like I’m being selfish, a bad wife, or guilty over not being with him in the evening. When you love someone you want to be near them. You want to spend all of your extra time with them. You think about them throughout the day. Certain things will trigger a memory with them and you will smile. The more I think about it, the more I realize I love my husband more than I love God. The choice to either read Scripture or walk out of this room and dance with my husband to country music is easy...I would pick my husband. It hurts my heart, but it is true right now.
But in the long run this choice to put God above all else will improve my marriage, friendships, outlook on life, and ultimately my character. I will know Him deeply. I will run to Him first when I feel scared or troubled. I will be able to fight the lies that creep into my head and the temptations to doubt my Savior. What a reward to gain! Yes – this is what I will choose. Lord, help me choose You first. Help me make the small decisions that will ultimately be for my good. Draw me to yourself and teach me your promises and shower me with Your love.
Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
–Psalm 25:4-5
2 comments:
Dear Carrie,
These are such great reflections. I have never read the book you are referring to, but I love the question you pose early on about what it looks like to love God as the first order of things in one’s life. Your phrase about what “draws me into spiritual passivity” gives me food for thought.
Thank you for putting words to some uncomfortable realities that surface as we seek to honor the great commandment to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. You offer authentic hope in the choices you make to re-order your life and listen to the longings of your heart to reject spiritual passivity. King David knew what he was talking about…and so do you. : )
Carrie you are such an amazing person. I can't even express how blessed I am to have you as a sister. Not only a sister in the family sense but a sister in Christ. Thank you for showing me what it looks like to earnestly search for God's heart. I love reading everything you write!
<3 kris
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