Thursday, March 31, 2005
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Long lost post...
*I wrote this on the back page of my notebook when I was at Barnes and Noble one day and totally forgot about it until today, when I found it there...so here's my long lost post, finally making it to my blog, like I had originally intended, so long ago!
2/14/2005
Barnes and Noble a place where one can browse literature, smell that calming bookbinding smell, and imagine my own books on the shelf-- screaming to be picked up and read--offering pearls of wisdom or insight into the world through my eyes. What would it say? Random descriptions of my people-watching adventures? Times of reflection when my mind, captured by thoughts, pondered life deep into the night? No...that wouldn't sell...but then nothing I write would sell because it's all a dream...and my thoughts remain my thoughts, written down in notebooks and sometimes blogs, waiting to be re-read, experienced anew, and laughed at as life continues forward. But as for now...I try and focus on my studies as I sit in Starbucks, watching the world pass away outside this window, sipping my mint mocha wishing I had time to continue writing...
Monday, March 21, 2005
Ginny Owens
God has brought me to a place of decision: complete surrender to Him or continuing on myself blindly grasping for control. I have chosen surrender to His will...after being broken in every area of my life. The sweetness in surrender and the peace that comes after you choose to give Him everything--surpasses my understanding. I am so inadequate to accomplish anything good in this life. His power and grace flowing through me is what I desire...to be used for His glory.
These songs adequately express a lot of what I am thinking and feeling lately. I cannot write much now, but heard them and thought it would do a better job than any of my own words.
This Road
A million miles away from anything familiar
A thousand places I would rather be
So I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
Though I find it hard to see beyond my suffering
In my heart I know your plan is so much bigger
But this small part is all that I can see
And I believe you haven't left me here to wander
Still I can't help but ponder where you're leading me
(Chorus)
And I ask why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Till I see, till I know
Why this road
A million miles away from anything familiar
What was it like to be so far from home
Though you came in love
The world misunderstood you
There must have been some days when you felt so alone
But you endured, cause there was joy before you
Joy that came because you sacrificed
Since you gave yourself just to spend forever with me
Surely I can trust you'll lead me through my darkest times
When I ask why....
(Chorus)
And I ask why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Till I see, till I know
Why this road
From here I can not see
Why you'd choose this path for me
But I don't have to understand to believe
That you know why
You know why this road
Why this way, and this load
You know how far I must go
Till I see, Till I know
Why this road
All I want to do
All I want to do, is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, until it's all I want to do.
How does doubt slip in, so silently?
And why does condemnation come so naturally?
Why do I still get the best of me?
Loving so little and living so selfishly?
When all I want to do, is give this life to You.
All I want to do is give this life to You,
and let Your will be done until it's all I want to do.
What have I been given by Your grace?
Will I come to understand this mystery I embrace?
Make of me a new creation now,
Fill me with all you are and be all I am somehow.
'Cuz all I want to do is give this life to You.
All I want to do is give this life to You.
And let Your will be done, 'til it's all I want to do.
Faith so fragile
Reaching for Your hand
All I want to do is give this life to You,
and let your will be done, til it's all I want to do.
These songs adequately express a lot of what I am thinking and feeling lately. I cannot write much now, but heard them and thought it would do a better job than any of my own words.
This Road
A million miles away from anything familiar
A thousand places I would rather be
So I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
Though I find it hard to see beyond my suffering
In my heart I know your plan is so much bigger
But this small part is all that I can see
And I believe you haven't left me here to wander
Still I can't help but ponder where you're leading me
(Chorus)
And I ask why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Till I see, till I know
Why this road
A million miles away from anything familiar
What was it like to be so far from home
Though you came in love
The world misunderstood you
There must have been some days when you felt so alone
But you endured, cause there was joy before you
Joy that came because you sacrificed
Since you gave yourself just to spend forever with me
Surely I can trust you'll lead me through my darkest times
When I ask why....
(Chorus)
And I ask why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Till I see, till I know
Why this road
From here I can not see
Why you'd choose this path for me
But I don't have to understand to believe
That you know why
You know why this road
Why this way, and this load
You know how far I must go
Till I see, Till I know
Why this road
All I want to do
All I want to do, is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, until it's all I want to do.
How does doubt slip in, so silently?
And why does condemnation come so naturally?
Why do I still get the best of me?
Loving so little and living so selfishly?
When all I want to do, is give this life to You.
All I want to do is give this life to You,
and let Your will be done until it's all I want to do.
What have I been given by Your grace?
Will I come to understand this mystery I embrace?
Make of me a new creation now,
Fill me with all you are and be all I am somehow.
'Cuz all I want to do is give this life to You.
All I want to do is give this life to You.
And let Your will be done, 'til it's all I want to do.
Faith so fragile
Reaching for Your hand
All I want to do is give this life to You,
and let your will be done, til it's all I want to do.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
My date with Adonai
I love going on dates with God because He always knows exactly what I want and need and how to make me feel completely loved and desirable to Him! My date happened Sunday night at 7...well He started working up to it at around 2! ;)
First, my Toyota started leaking oil, so Dad and I had to take it to the mechanic. They told us it would take around 1.5 hours to fix, apparently the gasket wasn't put in properly. Since I had to get back to school, Dad let me take the Grand Prix up to Tally. So I left Orlando at around 2:45 instead of 1:30, like I had planned. I soon realized there was NO way I was going to make my 2 sorority meetings that night because of the delay. Surprisingly, that thought relieved a lot of pressure and caused me to actually enjoy driving back to Tallahassee.
During the ride up God continually amazed me with His artwork. He showed me red & orange leafed trees...yes even in March. He painted a sunset that took my breath away!
When I arrived to Tally it was dinner time and I had no idea where to go, well "Quiznos" popped into my head and I decided to go there. After getting my French dip sandwich I sat in the car and was about to begin eating when "Lake Ella" popped into my head. So guess what? I drove to Lake Ella and found a great parking space that looked out over the water. I sat there eating my sandwich watching cars, people, and water pass by, listening to Christian radio while my spirit was being refreshed.
God is good! He knew I needed a little bit of quiet before I started the week...and He set it up so that I would get it!
One single drop of rain
Your salty tear became blue ocean
One tiny grain of sand turning in your hand
A world in motion
You're out beyond the furthest Morning Star
Close enough to hold me in Your arms
Adonai, I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai
You are the Maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh, my Adonai
One timid faithful knock
Resounds up the Rock of Ages
One trembling heart and soul
Becomes a servant bold and courageous
You call across the mountains and the seas
I answer from the deepest part of me
Adonai, I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai
You are the Maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh, my Adonai
From age to age you reign in Majesty
And today You're making miracles in me
(song by Avalon)
Thank You, my Adonai...
First, my Toyota started leaking oil, so Dad and I had to take it to the mechanic. They told us it would take around 1.5 hours to fix, apparently the gasket wasn't put in properly. Since I had to get back to school, Dad let me take the Grand Prix up to Tally. So I left Orlando at around 2:45 instead of 1:30, like I had planned. I soon realized there was NO way I was going to make my 2 sorority meetings that night because of the delay. Surprisingly, that thought relieved a lot of pressure and caused me to actually enjoy driving back to Tallahassee.
During the ride up God continually amazed me with His artwork. He showed me red & orange leafed trees...yes even in March. He painted a sunset that took my breath away!
When I arrived to Tally it was dinner time and I had no idea where to go, well "Quiznos" popped into my head and I decided to go there. After getting my French dip sandwich I sat in the car and was about to begin eating when "Lake Ella" popped into my head. So guess what? I drove to Lake Ella and found a great parking space that looked out over the water. I sat there eating my sandwich watching cars, people, and water pass by, listening to Christian radio while my spirit was being refreshed.
God is good! He knew I needed a little bit of quiet before I started the week...and He set it up so that I would get it!
One single drop of rain
Your salty tear became blue ocean
One tiny grain of sand turning in your hand
A world in motion
You're out beyond the furthest Morning Star
Close enough to hold me in Your arms
Adonai, I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai
You are the Maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh, my Adonai
One timid faithful knock
Resounds up the Rock of Ages
One trembling heart and soul
Becomes a servant bold and courageous
You call across the mountains and the seas
I answer from the deepest part of me
Adonai, I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai
You are the Maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh, my Adonai
From age to age you reign in Majesty
And today You're making miracles in me
(song by Avalon)
Thank You, my Adonai...