Mercy

All I once held dear, built my life upon. All this world reveres and wants to own. All I once thought gain, I have counted lost, spent and worthless now, compared to this. Knowing You, there is no greater thing. You're my all, you're the best. You're my joy, my righteousness. And I love You, Lord.

Now my heart's desire is to know You more. To be found in You, and known as Yours. To possess by faith, what I could not earn, all surpassing gifts of righteousness. Knowing You, there is no greater thing. You're my all, you're the best. You're my joy, my righteousness. And I love You, Lord.

Oh to know the power of Your risen life, and soon know You in Your suffering. To become like You in Your death my Lord, so with You to live and never die! Knowing You, there is no greater thing. You're my all, you're the best. You're my joy, my righteousness. And I love You, Lord.

God has given me so much mercy lately. I have treated Him badly, put myself above Him, demanded things of Him, questioned His abilities, and refused to give up control. Yet, He still met with me, poured peace on my soul, refreshed my spirit, and humbled me. He has removed my dead heart and given me a new one. All praise be to Him who did not give up on me or leave me to my way. I have not felt this alive in a long time. He is here with me, and does not disappoint. He provides and gives me strength just when I need it the most. Even though I dislike my major, am tired of doing homework all the time, wish I could skip the next two years of college and get on with life, complain, and act like a stubborn spoiled child, He still loves me and listens to my prayers. He still calls me to Himself and desires for me to know Him intimately.

My faith has been hanging on by a thread lately, and my hope was draining from my soul. I could not see God anywhere, I did not know what to do, I was continually questioning Him and asking Him to open my eyes to what I had put in front of Him. But I never took time to listen to Him, I accused, questioned, doubted, but never listened. Then I came to a desperate place, where I had no choice but to listen to Him and give up the fight. I cried out and He heard me, He held me and took me to a place of refuge, a pasture of rest. Now I see Him, I see what I put in front of Him, now I long to worship and be with Him.

"He saved us not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life." -Titus 3:5-7

"...and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls." -1 Peter 2:24-25

"...but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly...but God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
-Romans 5:3-8