There are some days when I wish I didn't look like I do. It seems to cause people pain and struggle. It causes me to see disappointment spring up in the faces of others...or resentment...or inadequacy...or the end of a friendship. It hurts me too. But I can't do much to help it. Then when I think I am helping...I'm really making it worse. Sometimes it is very annoying that I have to continue to wait...wait for that person and the day when I will be able to be myself and not have to worry about what I am doing constantly. The day I let my guarded heart and emotions run free, surrounding that person with the real me. We will find joy being together and encourage each other in Christ.
All I can do is only cling to the hope I have in Christ...that He knows what lies ahead and won't let go of my hand as we walk through this life. Hope that some day I will feel complete and whole in Him, knowing He sees me as beautiful and perfect. Hope that one day I will finally believe with all my heart that I bring Him joy and He is pleased to call me His daughter.
