Today I had an awesome quiet time. I'm going through this book called An Invitation to Eavesdrop, finding yourself in the Psalms by Barbara Francis. It is totally amazing! It has helped my spiritual walk grow tremendously this summer and even continue to grow this summer. Because I've been so busy, and tired...my quiet times have turned into either short reads of the Psalms of quick jots in my prayer journal...nothing fulfilling. So this morning I prayed that God would give me time with Him today during my lunch break. And it was simply amazing the time we spent together...I learned a lot about His character and had just a peaceful, fulfilling, intimate moment with Him. I was so excited to see my new-self coming out when I felt that desire and urge to read His Word and to spend time with Him. I'm discovering how much He truly desires me and my company. I am constantly reminded by the Holy Spirit throughout the day that He is my strength and my joy. Pre-rush is very difficult and trying on my patience, nerves, mind...etc. But God is soo faithful. He really is...He has been my joy these past few days. I seriously could NOT deal with this week and all the stress if I didn't continually give up control of my life to Him.

I think it makes life so much easier! Why try to control it yourself, when our Father desires for us to let Him take over? What can go wrong? So what if you step out of your comfort zone a little bit. As a very wise man (Mark Z.) once said during my three weeks at CSU this summer, "Once you step out of your comfort zone and endure all of the discomfort, you experience a joy so abundant that you are willing to go through it again to experience that joy." God wants us to die to our desires and life to serve Him wholy, so that we experience the joy He has for us! That is overwhelming to think about...He has such a great joy waiting for us that He is continually asking us to trust Him enough to give over control of our daily lives. It would be like if one of your closest friends had this gift waiting for you and he/she talked about how much you'd like it and how awesome it was, but the only way you can receive it is by letting them blindfold you and guide you to it. Yes there is a little bit of fear, like "what if i run into the wall?" or something...but ultimately, your desire for that gift must surpass your fear--otherwise you'll never get anywhere. ok ok i'm stepping off my box now. I just get so excited when I have my eyes cleared a bit and I see all that God is doing in my little sphere of life. ;) This quote that will wrap this entry up is from the Psalms book and is one of my favorites:

"For me too, accepting God's love involves a relentless hushing of voices that whisper otherwise. You are not worthy. You have failed again. God cannot possibly love you. My conscience having formed under sermons portraying an Old Testament god of strict authority and punishment, I can barely grasp the reality that God has condescended to live within me and now loves me from the inside out. I must ask the God who is 'greater than our hearts' to halt that ruthless cycle of condemnation and remind me of perhaps the hardest thought to grasp, that God desires and loves me." --Philip Yancey, Reaching for the Invisible God